i'm a timer.....

...ya, a bomb timer...having said that, i'm controlling it well up to now, i guess. And hope i can overcome it soon or later. either let it explode or cut the correct wire off and stop the timer from ticking in my head. but as for now, i've yet to decide. the clock is still ticking and the time is there or i'm searching for the wire, green, red, yellow to cut. cut it and blow or cut it and off.

metaphorically speaking of course...but this is the state i'm in now.

sad to say, sad to feel this way, and on top of that it's a monday. guess just it's the blue-est of all. *sigh*
i hate the feeling i'm feeling right now. it makes me feel the whole thing is so wrong.

*tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick................*

i slept the sleep of the just

just the other night, two nights ago, good bf of mine was telling me stories abt ghosts. ya, must be thinking are we lack of topic for our conversation? nope. practically we just talk about anything and our conversation never ends. one thing good about it, we explore each others' experiences and knowlegde about things we do not know. ok ok, get back to the title of this blog. the reason i'm posting this. i slept for the poor 2 hrs or so i think or maybe i'm awake all the while coz i remember all the little little ding-ling-dong-klick-klac-klock-ping-pong-piang-tik-tiak-tiok sound in my room when i lay myself on my bed. can't sleep simply because of the stories he told me. suddenly the image, the gory face, the long hair, the white robe, the nails, the eerie sound, u name it....Juon, Dark Water, One Missed Call....watsoever ghost movie i've heard about suddenly come right back to me. into my head. all the shadow, the image appear here and there and i just can't make it disappear. once i closed my eyes, it's there...i open, it's gone. yayayaya, call me stupid coz i know it's not real, but still............

so nice of my good bf to describe the story so vividly to me while we're having roti pisang and teh tarik at one of the mamak stall in Puchong. he is just describing what he heard and merely just sharing, i suppose. little that he knows, his gf got hooked with the stories and can't stop her 'creative' imagination. grrrrr...grrrrr.....blame him for the ghost story telling which lead to a sleepless night for me though i did give some interest and support when he was telling the story. "And then....." "And then...." "And then...." and he goes on and on and on because the listener is interested to listen mah. can't put all blame into himlar, i'm part to be blamed also.

good bf of mine decided no more ghost story telling for me anymore. he say i'm too imaginative. :)

はちこ - Hachiko: A Dog's Story

was in my shower last night when i suddenly remembered one particular movie article that i read few weeks ago and i keep trying to recall the name of the movie and finally i got it! Yeah...... Hachiko. This is the sypnosis i got from the web.

"This heartwarming true story is an American adaptation of a Japanese tale about a loyal dog named Hachiko. This very special friend would accompany his master to the train station every day and return each afternoon to greet him after work. Sadly his master departs one day, passes away and never returns to the station. Hachiko faithfully returns to the same spot at the station the very next day, and every day for the next nine years to wait for his beloved master. During his daily visits, Hachiko touches the lives of many who work near and commute through the town square. He teaches the local people love, compassion and above all unyielding loyalty. Today, a bronze statue of Hachiko sits in his waiting spot outside the Shibuya station in Japan as a permanent reminder of his devotion and love."

mmmmm......a must watch movie again for dog lovers and RG fans. :) but dunno when it's showing. it's only going to be premiering this August in Japan. dunno when it's the actual release date yet. i have searched high and low in both GSC and TGV and it's not even in the coming soon slot....not in international screen too. :(
anyway, will look out for it.

Smile - Michael Jackson (1958-2009)

(A tribute to Charlie Chaplin taken from the stage version of "Smile")
Words Written by John Turner and Geoffrey Parsons.
Music Composed by Charles Chaplin.
Produced by David Foster and Michael Jackson.

Smile, though your heart is aching
Smile, even though it's breaking
When there are clouds in the sky
You'll get by...
If you smile
With your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll find that life is still worthwhile if you'll just...
Light up your face with gladness
Hide every trace of sadness
Although a tear may be ever so near
That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use of crying
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you'll just...
Smile, though your heart is aching
Smile, even though it's breaking
When there are clouds in the sky
You'll get by...
If you smile
Through your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you'll just Smile...
That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use of crying
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you'll just Smile

sorry to say, i must admit i'm not really a fans of MJ. His passing is merely a dying of a very incredible super well known superstar, famous celebrity and known to the whole wide world, but i still tune in to his memorial service and without knowing, my tears actually falled when listening to this particular song sang by one of the Jackson 5. the way he sang it, the way the lyric presented itself, the atmosfere, the time, it just built up all the feelings and finally, i come to realize that he is really gone...he is really....gone.

his death reminds me of Leslie Cheung who has left us 6 long years. how time flies. it has been 6 long years. too young to die. that's all i can think of. he has so much talent yet the world has not seen. he has so much to give yet time is not enough. he has so much to share yet no one understand. so, he make a choice to end his life by taking his own life. what a ridicule...

anyway, as heart breaking as it is now and then, i have to agree that as long as we remember them, they will forever live in our heart.

おくりびと - a must watch.....

....おくりびと - incredibly 'moving' movie. a wistful masterpiece. it's a movie about death that is so truly beautiful, joyful and life-affirming.

i cried during most part of the movie. worth every drop of my tears.

i recommend to all.

christmas gift for Hayden

old forgotten post about the Christmas gift i get for Hayden last year. aduiii.....so long already. another Christmas is coming. i dun think he still play with the Barneylar. in fact, he kinda 'dislike' all the toys i bought for himler. At first, i bought him a clown called Jack from Memory Lane. Such cute, soft toys for him but inside of cuddle it, he will push it away, throw it, step on it, sit on it, lie on it, just not fond of it no matter how u play with Jack and show him how soft Jack is. Hmmmppp..i should get a picture of Jack here. dunno how is Jack now....maybe abandoned in a corner with the toys he don't play anymore. Wuuuwuuuwuuu......

ok, why Barney? aiyo..which kids dun like this purple monster who can sing and dance. since my sister told me that he like the song "I Love You, You Love Me,.....bla bla bla " by Barney, and i go and search for this singing Barney at Jusco. Coincidently He really sings this song.....so....so...i buy lar of coz. Barney life is must better than Jack. at least when i was in Singapore, i can see Hayden pushing the button at his leg and he will start singing. a bit sukalar, but still not very very sukalar. so difficult to buy gift for a 2 yrs old kid, eh?

later i must ask my sister how is Barney and Jack in Singapore.

oh ya..this was LAST year Christmas gift, so looks like another Christmas is coming up, so i must crack my head again to think what to buy for my little Hayden.

any idea to share?

for him

bought this cute bear for quite sometimes already. ya, it's with DOB and ya, it's his DOB. funny enough is that i haven't give it to him for almost a year or two already. did told him i got him this purple bear thingy but haven't really show to him. why ah? i also dunnoler. maybe thinking to keep it myself or thinking to help him to keep it. later dunno he put entah ke mana.

it's kinda cute, when u shake it, the heads open and the body goes in and left with the big head of the bear and when u shake it again, the body will drop out and it's a full grown bear. u guys must have seen this somewherelar. it's quite kinky but maybe not for guys neh...

a gift from a friend -

so thoughtful of her to give me such a lovely handmade gift to sort of 'motivate' me in taking japanese class. :) ya, she actually sewed the hiragana on this felt cloth coaster and expect me to put my cups on it. sure not. it's to keep for years to come.

a i u e o, ka ki ku ke ko, sa shi tsu se so..........i can read hiragana pretty well now but slow comprehending the meaning when it's combined. hahaha.....japanese is so not easy to learn, don't even dare to think of mastering it. but it is interesting. now can converse a bit in japanese but still need a lot of polish up to do.

モナさん, ガンバテね!

My Precious With His New Friends

my precious....my little precious. he is my precious. and i got two new friends for him. hahahah...he must be thinking, "Hey common....my friends are the Poohs familylar." Kekekekek....
I got these mickey and minnie cushion at Watson, ya, ya, ya...i'm one of those who really go and pay RM29.90 for each of this Disney face. :) it's in my car now, with me everyday, go everywhere i go. cute, isn't it? well, it's not really huggable coz....it's just not huggable lar...but can be a seat cushion if u wan, but aiyooo..who would wan to sit on Mickey or Minnie face????

mum and sis saw it and say it's cute too. sis say should have get another pair to put in her house. hmmm....no wonder i dun feel the guilt of spending RM60 for something i can't fill my stomach with. kekekeke.....we are so sisters. kekekekek...

my blogs gone S-T-I-L-L

Haven't been blogging since.....emmm...since...aiyo...can't even remember when is the last date i posted my last blog for 2008. its 2009 now...Ox Year...niu nian...tahun lembu... :) now actually enjoying my long holiday back in my hometown. kakakaak....kakaakka.....kaakakakak...(ok, enuf)...everyday just laze around....eating mummy's cookies, cookings and just everything on the dinning table. the luxury of home sweet home. no place better than home. indeed true. don't have to worry about what's up for lunch or dinner. meals are always ready served...basically just have to open mouth saja. kakakak..kakakaka....hence, putting some weight...errr..means fat lar....coz can't control lah...all the cookies, the cakes, the foods, even the rice back home taste so much better. :)

yeah, new resolution for new year...emmm....how about my old one..have i achieved the old one? let me think................
a few. one....a few.....ohhh..only one. kakaka....so, how to make new one when old one has yet to be completedler...betul tak? so, just going to 'bring forward' hahahaha...can we do that....ok ok, i can i can. just 'bring forward' those 'unachieved' resolution to this year and hopefully i can achieve it pretty soon. must give myself a time frame lar...kenot like this lar.......hmm....ok ok...


i'll name a few;
- continue doing 'something' that i have stopped since i took my master 2 yrs back. now that i've graduated, i should get back to this.
- one big task - get it done by May 2009
- hehehe...something i think i just can't manage lar....but i will still try again.
- the unsolved matters
- .......................................................................... ASAP

hahahaha....my resolutions sound so mysterious. kakakakakaka....but i'll see to it to happen lar. sure sure sure. tell myself i MUST....i CAN...i WILL... :)

ok. short one to start my 2009 blog. since i'm enjoying my holiday now back in hometown, i hope i'll have more time to start blogging again. heheheeh..... hope so hope so...